No Talking Tuesday Year End Wrap Up End of Year Five

November 02, 2012

Year five has been unremarkable except for the six weeks I spent in Japan in the spring. I’m no longer worried about making accidental mistakes. I hardly ever write anything down to communicate with others anymore. I feel I have nothing left to prove to myself or others. I mostly stay away from even talking about it or mentioning it in any way.

My Tuesdays have mostly been the one day a week I can hope to have a chance to catch up on my personal work. They’re spent mostly in isolation, working, lost in my head, thinking about light, music, word orders, anatomical forms etc. It’s all gotten to the point that being silent, rummaging around my brain, focused on a task feels so natural and like home, that Wednesday through Monday seem like the unusual days.

Part of me wants to answer this comfort level with additional challenges to stretch what this experiment can teach me, and another side of me wants to acknowledge that ultimately this was the whole point; To find peace, stillness, passive acceptance, and non intellectualized belonging in silence.